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| Wayne's story |
Have you ever had the opportunity to watch TLC's Hoarders: Buried Alive? It's really a very sad show of real people living in deplorable conditions. In most cases, of the shows that aired... deplorable is an understatement. I found it hard to understand how people could even survive in the conditions shown on some of the shows... septic backed up into the house... rotting food everywhere... even dead animals once in a while in the house. I never understood, but today, was able to relate when I caught a glimpse of Wayne's story today and he told what was eating at him.... the episode was subtitled: Not Having a Father Who Cares. A video clip can be seen by clicking
Stepping back for a minute, I have often "joked" that I needed to keep the crew of Hoarders away from my basement and garage... after all my basement and garage were so full of "junk" you could hardly walk through. Joking was my way of dealing with the underlying reality, similar to the few minutes of Wayne's story, that he was suffering from feelings of loss. For the record, my house does not look ANYTHING like Wayne's does in the clip, however, I can completely relate with how he feels. He can't move (take action), he is frozen. Although our stories are quite different, I think we both feel a great loss in our lives, I think beyond what most of you can imagine or understand. A loss that puts us into a state of suspended animation, so to speak. If you think otherwise, you don't understand.
Wayne DOES NOT need anyone telling him he is messed up. He knows it. He is crippled... he is frozen... he is at wits end and can not do anything about it. He needs compassion and help. He especially doesn't need to be lectured about how bad things are.... he knows it. He especially does not need a lack of compassion from those who he loves, regardless of whether they love him back or have the ability to understand.... his daughters on the show obviously don't. He does not need to be chastised.... he needs help. He has a virtual cancer that is eating away at him. So do I.
He needs someone with compassion.... some who understands that his situation is no different than someone who has any other illness or situation that has them at a loss of action. He can NOT do things himself.... he is helpless. No matter how bad it is, he needs help turning the corner. He can not just undo... no matter how much you think he can. He needs support, time and someone that will help him regardless of the situation to help make things better. He needs unwavering love.
He does not need his daughter, the one with fake red hair screaming at him, telling him he doesn't have the balls to do what she wants him to do.... who is she.... someone dying her hair red to make her something she is not? Bitch. She is clueless. Where was she when he got hurt? When this all started? Chastising him then too? Living in her pretend world where everything needs to be her way. Enough of her, she needs help too.
Where are the compassionate people for the Wayne's, and Dan's, of the world to turn to? Unfortunately, it seems there are more people interested in just telling you why you are messed up rather than really wanting to help. Tell a person who smokes to just quit? Can they? Tell an overweight person it's their fault they eat too much. Does that help? Complain about things not getting done, does that get them done?
I hear you Wayne, I hope you got the help you needed. Godspeed to you Wayne.
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