The Past 2+ Months From Hell

I haven’t had the ability to write in about 3 months.  It’s one thing to have to battle cancer, it is quite another to also have to battle the chemo drugs you are being prescribed because they have turned against you. 

I've tried writing so many times I've lost count.  So tired and without energy or motivation, I just haven't been able to write or do much of anything.  This post will be published tonight, I hope.

As if learning cancer came back and spread to my liver wasn't bad enough, the new chemo I was on almost did me in.  I'm not sure if that is a factually true statement, but it sure felt like I had been done in.  After 3 rounds of chemo, I was hospitalized.  I have been feeling horrid since somewhere around February 1st... tired all the time, absolutely no energy, and very frustrated.

I don't know how I will ever catch up with all I wanted to write... a little here and a little there.  The weird thing is that my mind doesn't seem to have slowed down at all, only the physical body is in slow motion.  The biggest struggle has been the frustration I have with not being able to do anything, the feeling of withering away to nothing, and the feeling of being left out and how others seem to have moved on.  I'm just so lucky to have the family support and caregiving I do have and am getting.  Nevertheless, it can be a very lonely feeling.  Having said all that, I am better today than I was yesterday, last week and the last few months.  I will beat this bastard.

It is good, there always is good to find.  We sometimes need to dig deep to figure out what the silver linings are ... I hate how the bad stuff comes to the surface so easily.  I must first thank each and every supporter.  The outpouring of messages, cards, visits, dinners, and general support has been amazing.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

On April 2nd, I underwent liver surgery to have a colon cancer lesion removed from my liver.  That surgery went extremely well.  On the way to the hospital, I issued a challenge to my nearly 1,000 Facebook friends for everyone to donate to Relay For Life while I was undergoing the surgery.  The response was AMAZING!  Over $700.00 raised while in surgery for American Cancer Society.  At Relay For Life, no donation is too small, each and every dollar counts. Your donations help fund groundbreaking cancer research, patient care programs, and can make a difference in communities like ours. With every donation, you are helping the American Cancer Society save lives.  Together, we’ll be a part of making a difference in this important cause. Donate  HERE

I have nearly reached my personal goal and our team goal for the year.  However, if you look at the numbers, don't let them make you think we've got this yet.  The almost $7,000.00 is just a start.  We are just beginning to dent the surface.  What are the cost?  The most recent rounds of chemo (a three-day process) that ends with me getting a shot to help restore white blood cells because the chemo is so brutal on one's system.  That one shot is billed at just a shade under $22,000.00 per shot, and I had and was billed for 3 of them.  In total, I've been billed over $400,000.00 since my cancer diagnosis.  I'm lucky in that my insurance is covering a majority of my care, there are others without coverage.  I'm making it by OK, but there are many others in desperate need of our help.  People with cancer need your financial help covering the expenses.  Please help me help them ... first, join my Relay team, no matter what if you also support eliminating cancer.  Then ... if you are in the western Massachusetts area, come walk with me on May 31st in Belchertown at 6:00 pm. I would be honored ... donate if you are so moved, but join the team and share that you did.  My goal for 2019 is $10,000.00.  We need to come together as humanity and work to eliminate cancer. This shouldn't be about managing cancer, it should be to eradicate it.  We can do it all now, online by clicking HERE.

homemade RSO capsule with
0.31 grams of THC laden oil

For now, I'll close with saying I hope to get to my other blog, CanCannaCure.com, my blog documenting my use of medical marijuana, AKA Rick Simpson Oil or RSO, to help me kill my cancer.  Think what you may, I lived a drug-free lifetime, but when you are told you have stage 4 colon cancer, a death sentence in my mind, you do anything and everything to kill cancer.  I have been remiss from writing in that blog as well, there's more catch up to go.  Rick Simpson was said to have cured his own cancer using RSO.  I'm doing it too, right alongside chemo and any other medical.  I've been off chemo for about 2 months, have continued to ingest RSO and my tumor markers have continued to go down (my last CEA test was 2.9 on April 4th).  I'll be honest saying I'm pretty anxious over the next couple results.  I've been here before with short-lived positive results, but I'm staying positive.

So that's it for this first catch up post, many more to come.  Here are some of the highs and lows ... feel free to join me in this fight, let me know you're reading and what more you'd like to know.

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Never, ever, forget how amazing you are and can be!

Another Memorable Day in the Life of Dan

Although I should have known, I was caught by total surprise again today when my wife Carol, Amanda, and Nikki.  Going out on what had been touted as a girls day out, maybe a nails day or something, but, instead, a gift of caring, sharing and love.  The girls all came home with permanent marks of love ... they all got tattoos.  A colon ribbon for my soon-to-be daughter in law, the sun, and moon on Nikki's beautiful feet and the awesome story behind their meaning ... I will forever be looking up during my journey.  Lastly and most touching to me is Carol's specially designed colon cancer ribbon, but my name below it.  I never expected I would ever see that, or hear her give more than she will ever know ...



This could hardly a better day. Carol, saying thanks is not enough ...  You have rocked my world ... but ...
Thanks
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Never, ever, forget how amazing you are and can be!

Wow’ed Tonight With A Surprise Gift

For those that might not know, I’m sort of into Christmas  decorations, which, by now have been all packed away, and in particular, I have a pretty big “nutcracker” collection.  They are not the super nice German made nutcrackers, but more of your run of the mill Christmas decoration style.

Tonight, we get a knock at the door as I let the girls (Carol and my daughter Tina) take a break from installing the new engineered hardwood floor in the family room (a nice little nearly 600 square feet project).  A former co-worker (Gerry Bernard) and his wife (Karen) are at my door.  We don’t often see each other much since my retirement except when he has stopped by with homemade soup during my eventful year i has fighting cancer.  I thought maybe they stopped to wish me well as I begin the first again.  But no, it was for something that totally shocked, surprised, and caught me off guard.  Karen has made me a quilt to go with my nutcracker collection. An amazing work of art!

So Karen, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, it’s absolutely beautiful and so skillfully made.  Wow.  The best I can do for this year is to share a picture from Christmas past, with a peek of the nutcracker collection, as it was then.

                       Thank you Karen Bernard!

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Never, ever, forget how amazing you are and can be!

                                  

Recovering at Home

me waiting to have a chemo
infusion Tuesday before
being admitted.

After quite an eventful couple of days, I was able to talk my way out of the hospital this afternoon.  I will spare you with the gory details that began late Sunday night, continued through Monday and ended with being admitted to the hospital Tuesday.  You don't want to know it all.  Suffice it to say today I am feeling much better, able to eat somewhat again, and I think I may have lost a pound or two ...  there's always a silver lining if you look deep enough.

I posted a "Request for Help" in my Director Dan Happenings blog if you'd like to see how you could really help me in January.  I can't tell you how much I'd appreciate you stepping up for me personally and the American Heart Association if you are able and so moved.

I have not been online much in the past few days, but I have seen many of the hundreds of messages, text, emails that you all have sent ... I continue to be overwhelmed by you expressions of care and concern.  Thank You! 

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Never, ever, forget how amazing you are and can be!

A Restful Night

Well I surely did not expect to spend the night in the hospital last night, but that’s the road I traveled. This past Sunday and Monday were not happy days for my stomach and connected internals. The docs and nurses certainly didn’t need a stethoscope to hear the bowel sounds.  I thought I was hearing the soundtrack to “Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Mans Chest”.

I came to the Cancer Center yesterday morning to begin the next phase of the cancer fight with a new chemotherapy drug.  Knowing that I had such an upset stomach and had vomited at 3:30am, I knew the chances were slim that would happen, and I was correct.  They decided to delay the start for a week so I could get over what else was ailing me.  I made it almost to the car before vomiting a second time, sorry for the gross details.  I sat in the car for a while waiting for Carol as she went back in to talk with my docs.  We headed to the ER where they were waiting for me and the lovely, and somewhat, painful test began.  

The good thing is that I napped a lot all afternoon and throughout the night.  A couple hits of morphine probably didn’t hurt, it’s the most sleep I’ve had in a long time.  

This morning I’m waiting to have an endoscopy, oh joy. I said to the young doctor “as long as you bring an antithesis doc with you and I’m sleep, do what you need to do”.  I pray they don’t find more stuff going on, my list of ailments is long enough ... I’m ready to get well and get back on my feet.  These changes have lightened my load for January as I was able to cancel some physical therapy appointment and a pre-colonoscopy meet with another doc.

Speaking of colonoscopies, if you are 45 years or older, have you had a colonoscopy yet?  Doing so early saves lives ... yours in particular!  It’s easy, we all need to do it, so get it done #JustBecause.  You ladies that might be reading, you have other parts that need cancer screenings, don’t skip them, get them done too!

Endoscopy, here I come ...

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Never, ever, forget how amazing you are and can be!

On Your Mark, Get Set, Here We Go

Post about my cancer journey in this blog have turned into updating my family and friends about what's going on.  Please indulge me.  This past week or so has been a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, thankfully, I finally got my thinking straight and my positive mindset back.  The waiting has been a challenge, but I finally have answers and direction tonight, on a couple of fronts.

Me receiving chemo in March 2018

On the medical front, I will be restarting chemotherapy at at Mass General Cancer Center at Cooley-Dickinson Hospital on Tuesday morning, January 15, 2019.  Chemo kicked my butt last time around, and might again, but chemo will be my friend and help rid this old body of any mutated, cancerous crap that's in me.  The silver lining is that I will be receiving it from the best infusion staff ever in Northampton.

My chemo cocktail will be a little different this time around too, and hopefully, the side effects will be not only different, and fewer, but, we shall see.

You may or may not know about my other decision to move forward with using Cannabis Oil in a parallel path, specifically, Rick Simpson Oil.  I've talked with my oncologist about it, and she is not opposed to it running alongside the chemo.  I will be documenting exactly what I am using, how much, how I'm feeling, and when in my "CanCannaCure" blog. 

I have "lots" of appointments in the next week or so.  Appointments with oncology physical therapy - I don't even know what that means, liver surgeons, colonoscopy docs, chemo and many others ... we have to move before we can move forward.

a small dose of RSO

On the alternative med front, tonight will be the start of me using high THC indica medical marijuana.  The goal is to ingest a bunch of Rick SImpson quality oil (check out the"CanCannaCure" blog if you don't know what that means), 60 grams in the next 90 days - the seemingly magic number for THC to kill cancer - if it does.  You do what you need to do and can be comfortable with it.  The purpose of the "CanCannaCure" blog is to document that part of my journey.  I hope it goes to help someone else facing a similar situation and they want some first hand knowledge of its effects on me.  I should be ready to start the intake of my RSO.  Who would have ever thought I would be seeking to become an educated patient that self medicates using marijuana?  I would have bet against that, every day.  No way, no how is out the window, I just took my second dose, the second of my life.  This journey is all about life and living.

While listening to Joel Osteen today, I was reminded of how there are many times in our lives, we will experience "Unexpected Sunshine".  Its as if it is a daily occurrence with me lately.  Unexpected sunshine is when good things happen when you were just not expecting it.  It's like when the weather report is for a cloudy day, and all of a sudden the clouds just dissipate and you have unexpected sunshine.  Yesterday, I reconnected with someone I have not seen in years and years and today, she is now in my corner helping me with the meds I need, so thankful for knowing the right people, who know the right people.  It's been said, it's all about who you know.

Lastly, as a reminder, I will also ask again, if you haven’t done so, I encourage you to dig into your pocket and help support me and My American Cancer Society Relay For Life team with a donation ... any amount, it all helps. I have received hundreds and hundreds of messages, calls, and emails of encouragement ... if each of those person's made a $5.00 donation, we’d surely help make a difference.  You can make a tax deductible donation in support of me and my team by clicking here:  My Relay For Life Donation page, you'll get your tax deductible receipt directly from the American Cancer Society.  If you can’t do the donation site $5.00 minimum, put 2 bucks in an envelope and send it to me at:

Team Director Dan, Relay For Life

141 Oakridge Drive

Belchertown, MA 01007

I’ll document it and donate it to the team with along with others donations and all with my sincere thanks.  Again, I can not thank you enough for the outpourings of support, for following my story, and for the love you have shown.  It means the world to me, thanks.

Never, ever, forget how amazing you are and can be!

Back to Basics, Have You Been Screened?

I have made a lot of post about my cancer, it's return, Cannabis Oil, Projects, and more.  When I first found out I had cancer, my theme, my goal, my desire, was to encourage everyone to get screened... early detection means early detection, and early detection means improved treatment.

Colonoscopies save lives!  That is not too hard to understand.  Mamograms saves lives.  That too is not hard to understand. All other screening and early detection save lives.

Do IT.

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Check out my Scentsy Web store at: http://DanGreeley.Scentsy.us

Want to join my amazing team of consultants?  http://bit.ly/JoinDan

Never, ever, forget how amazing you are and can be!