There have been many tines in my life I thought I had hit rock bottom. I hurt. I failed. I felt like giving up. I kept going, some how, some way. Those times are too many to count, to painful to remember. Today I feel worst. I hurt more. I failed more, and more, and even more. I make no one happy, especially me. I really want it to stop, I don't know how. No one cares. They may say they do, but only if it is on their terms, their way, I don't really matter. I've never felt so hurt, so alone.
I can't fake it anymore. I love my family, I don't feel love back. I love my grand kids and failed with them, I'm but a stranger. I open my mouth, it's wrong of me, that's what I hear. I ways are wrong, it doesn't matter to them, it's not what they want, I'm wrong, again and again. My stomach churns.
I want it to end, I want it to go away.
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