Getting Jazzed Times 2

Yesterday I wrote about how Becca Levie got me pretty jazzed by talking with me about a couple of books and suggestions for the help I was seeking.  Today I am jazzed times 2!  Finished reading chapter 1 of Outwitting the Devil and I was having revelations in just a matter of a few pages.

I've often (jokingly) accused Kirk Weisler of writing in his T4D blog (http://kirkweisler.com/t4d/) write to me because he keeps hitting me right between the eyes with his words of wisdom.  I think Napoleon Hill hit me with a sledge hammer!  How did he know so much about me back in the early 1900's.  I am amazes, jazzed, inspired and already seeing a new beginning, and I've only read chapter 1.  Thank you!  You're going to have to read it yourself to understand. You'll have to walk in similar shoes to really understand.

My mind has been so full of thoughts tonight I have almost jumped from one end of the stick to the opposite end without even thinking.  That does not really compute since I am a believer that most everything that goes on happens squarely between our ears...  in our mind.  When the mind is lost and full of indecision, things just don't work very well.  We can't make rational, logical decisions.  We don't behave and act in a manner that traditionally has been normal for us.  We begin doing the things we would normally not care for in others.  I have been stuck in that mould for several months...  maybe several years.  I knew it, I didn't like it and I knew it had to chance...  I just just didn't know how.  That has changed.

Dr. Hill wrote "My reasoning faculty had almost been paralyzed".  As Sharon Lechter annotated, I have felt discouraged and irritable and it became debilitating to me at work, at home and in all I did.  I was not me. I now know why and am focused on a path of change.  First returning to the old Dan, then continuing to get better in every way, every day.

Outwitting the Devil....

I never heard of the book Outwitting the Devil, by Napolean Hill, until tonight.  Thank you so much Becca Levie (http://www.beccalevie.com/), you're the best!

Today...  no, tonight, is the start of a new direction.  I may have said it before, but tonight, December 22, 2011, I move forward with a new vision...  a new desire....  with new purpose.  Take note of that.  I no longer want to be blue...  be down...  be overwhelmed.  I need to put on a smile from within, not just a surface smile.  It serves no purpose to be a prisoner of life.  Becca gave me a gift tonight...  words that had been given to her before, shared with me tonight....

 "Our capacity to feel joy, peace and happiness is in direct proportion to the depth of pain and sorrow we experience. Knowing this during dark times gives us a reason to put one step in front of another until we once again find joy and back to a place of great joy and hope."


me with Les Brown, April 2011

 This all started during a conversation with Becca as she shared about a book she was finishing reading by Les Brown.  Les is an incredible rags to riches inspiration to all of us that we can reach our own level of greatness.  The cool part is that I have also personally spoken with Les about his story and rise to to national prominence by telling his story.  Telling his story, that's what Kirk Weisler (http://www.kirkweisler.com/) and Phil Gerbyshak (http://www.philgerbyshak.com/) saying to me.  So, what does this all have to do with the title So, what about Outwitting the Devil?  Becca turned me onto this book written by Napolean Hill (author of Think and Grow Rich).  She tells of how he felt like a psuedo leader when he faced a time of such fear and paralizsis (as I feel now) and he didn't believe he could continue (hmm, I know that feeling too). He thought all hope was lost and he couldn't leave his brother-in- laws basement snd he became cruel and a burden. He progressed past that and became one of the greateat teachers of all time.  Such inspiration!

As in coaching, when things get tough, I always said, back to basics.  Thank you tongiht Becca and for many times past, Kirk, Phil and others, for your positive suggestions.  Here we go, one step at a time.

A Short Visit With My Dad...

I was able to get up to Boscawen, NH today to make a short visit with my dad, I really needed some fatherly wisdom and time with him.  It is days and weeks like this that I miss him so.  It's not that we would often sit down and have heart to heart talks... I just looked up to him to help me figure out what I needed to do.  Sometimes the answers might not have been perfect for everyone, but they were perfect for me.  My dad was occasionally a man wiser than his actions, but he always had the best intent.  So do I.

I'm so sad I can't fix what's wrong...  at least to the liking of others.  If I don't fix things, I feel like I'm living in a world of discontent and hearing about how messed up things are.  If I work on fixing things I feel like everyone needs to tell me "there way" rather than support me in my efforts, making it just as bad, if not worse.  I'm between a rock and a hard spot....  I'm like a dog chasing his tail....  I'm overwhelmed and wont it to be better.  How do I get there.

I didn't need to ask Dad, I know the answers... I went there to confide in him and for acceptance and support without reservation of complaint.  I knew he would help without judging.  I knew he would be there no matter what.  I had no where else to turn.

On a side note, until I saw this picture, I didn't know I looked as old and aged as I do.  Guess I'm glad I don't have to look at me...  I'm beginning to look how I feel
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After thought:   One of my Facebook friends just posted ‎"Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on"  While I like that, I'd love to be able to move on with those around me rather than have to create a whole new circle of friends...  is it worth the effort or best just to forgive and forget those that can't forgive and forget without continued drama?  That post was followed with ""Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that ? We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained."  There is lots of good advice out there, I should just heed what I already know.

Sometimes you just can't get started...

Maybe I get involved in too many things.  Perhaps it just frustrates me to see things "not done right" (at least as I see them) that sucks me into more things than I really want to be involved in.  What ever the cause, I'm normally up to my eyes with alligators, then it is nearly impossible for me to even get started.  Ouch.

I can do most all that needs to be done, that's not really the problem.  It's figuring out where to start.  On one hand, it could be a simple task (which is the route I'll likely have to take) to just make a list and start working on it.  Note I left out the word prioritize.  Is that smart or just delaying more disaster?  I don't think it is as simple as prioritizing the sequence of things you do in the morning....  going to the bathroom just must come before having breakfast.

My struggles are because I have allowed so many things to accumulate, there are too many number 1 priorities.  What then?  If I revert to the method of just working on the list...  it seems one of the ugly number 1 priorities sticks it's ugly head up and says "hey, what about me?"  You stop what your are doing and begin working on the ugly...  then ugly number 2 pops up and the vicious circle has begun.  Ugh.

So I need some help.  I can work on the list, generally grouped in priorities, but knowing you can not work on all the number 1's at once, some of the ugly's will pop up.  Do I say oh well, wait your turn?  Do I celebrate the small steps of getting them done, one by one and be happy for that?  I can survive the ugly's, as long as they don't get too ugly.  It's the people that are reminding me about the ugly's that stresses me to a point of inaction.  That's where I need the help and suggestions.  How do I deal with the disappoint I have caused and apparently continue to cause?

Help!

Not all things are bad... enter Nicholas

I guess at times, I may tend to rant and rave in this blog space.  Not this time.  Regardless of how bad things may seem at time, there is always good.  Enter Nicholas.  Nicholas James Ballinger, he entered the world on November 28th at  8lbs 6oz and 21 inches long!! What a big boy!

Congratulations to my daughter and son-in-law, proud new parents....  and a proud new big sister too!

Mom and Dad were signing papers for their new house while still in the hospital.  Uncle Ryan already has planned on giving skating lessons (and teaching checking too even though he didn't mention that part).  He's a pretty cute kid... I like the pose... I am thinking I see the resemblance to me...  especially the blonde hair.

No matter what else, this is a good thing.  Welcome my first grandson!

You are "be-YOU-tiful" and You Do Make a Difference

I have always stived to be a person that made a difference.  I think there was a time when I was somewhat successful in doing that.  Lately, I'm not so sure.  The interesting thing is that I know the problem is with me, I feel it, know it, and perhaps have been internalizing what I tell people not to do...  I've made internal excuses.  I know change is necessary.

At the 2011 Scentsy Annual Convention in Ft. Worth, Texas, Heidi Thompson spoke about the Power of One.  Powerful, moving and the spark I needed to begin the journey to get back on course. It would be well worth your time to listen to her talk.
I matter.  I make a difference.  You matter.  You make a difference.

Making a difference starts within ourselves.  If we are way off course, it may take a while to straighten out and get back on course.  There may be bumps and unfortunately bruises we have caused to get where we are.  The most important message is that you, me and most everyone we encounter are Be-You-tiful and the belief that we do make a difference.

I think there must be an understanding that who I make a difference to is not in my control, it is in their control.  I must accept that.  I must ensure that I provide every opportunity to make a difference to someone else and be at peace with the results.  I must attempt to rebuild any bridges that were burnt behind me, but most importantly, focus on the future and not dwell on the past.  Future actions are more important that past conversations.

You are beautiful, believe it and live it.  You do matter to me.

Sidebar:  I grabbed this graphic from Kirk Wiesler's "Thought 4 the Day" blog (http://kirkweisler.com/t4d/) without asking him...  I hope that isn't unethical or wrong, not intended to be.  I strongly recommend you vist Kirk's blog and sign up for his couple a week messages.  Kirk is incredible, inspirational and worth every word you'll read.