Kids do learn.... and I am so proud....

Today, I had one of those moments that could almost be described as an ah-ha moment.  I was surprised, shocked and extremely proud and happy...  all at the same time.  I'm still thinking about it, now writing about it to share the satisfaction....  it may be small, but very special to me.

Let me set the stage.  In my office, I have a 12 foot long white board, it's an awesome place to draw diagrams, make list or work on a strategy.  Our director once referred to the area as the "IT War Room".  On one end, I started posting pictures of my staff working or at other special events.  I wanted a "Wall of Fame" to post letters or e-mails from especially satisfied customers, notices that someone on staff achieved another certification or received an award....  lots of Kudos.  As an added bonus, I often post words of wisdom, not from me, but from books (like "Remember Rule #6"...  see page 78 in "The Art of Possibility") or IT related cartoons.  It's just a fun, enriching, happy place.

Part two.  This past Saturday, much to my younger sons dismay, at the last minute, I let him know he was going to spend the afternoon with me doing a few chores, not playing XBOX or watching TV.  After the chores, I made a side trip to my office to collect numerous papers, reports and so on to take home to work on.  It only took a little over two hours for me work a bit and to print out and collect all that I wanted to bring home with me.  At the end of two hours, Travis was quite fidgety and bored to death....  he wanted to go home, which we finally did.

Today, I'm at work, finalizing and making copies of performance reviews.  Standing at our copier, I look toward the white board and quite surprised to see that Travis had made an addition.

I've circled it on the above picture.  He even signed his handiwork.

It's nice to be important

but it's more important to be nice!
                             Travis Greeley

He even figured out on his own what the purpose of that section of the War Room was for.  It may be small, but from out of the blue, my youngest has shown that he may have been listening all along and it has started to sink in. 

By the way, Travis is on Honor Roll for the first time.  Thhis all may be small to you, Monumental,  Stupendous, Wonderful to me, a proud parent.

Kudos to you Travis!

It's hasn't been a good day... or week

I'm feeling again very over whelmed, very uncared for, very unloved and at wits end.  Being at wits end is not all that bad because I still have the slight belief that I can move forward, the problem is that finding the forward direction has been a challenge.

I'm struggling with Ryan and ice hockey and what I perceive his attitude and mind set is about it and of course, can not talk to him about it.  That seems stupid, but it is what it is and I can't have the conversation because all I get is looks like I don't know WTF I am talking about, there is always a reason (aka excuse, IMHO).  I want to help, but an not allowed.  I feel bad that the opportunities have been given and squandered.  It try and not succeed is one thing, to try and do things the wrong way is another.

The same is true with Travis...  want, want, want... heaven forbid I should ask to do something as simple is wash a car or to take the garbage out.  I will say he is doing well in school, hooray for that, that is most important.  I hope the attitude does not get in the way of it. 

I have asked for help around this house and at the New Salem house many times this week....  Carol (who does nearly everything around this house in B-town) went to new Salem one time, no children went at all. I asked to get the pool taken care of so we could close it more than a month ago, it looks like David might have done something for maybe 20 minutes in the past couple of days, but it is no where close to being ready...  but then again, it was only a month ago I asked.  Carol or I take trash cans to the curb and back, 99 of 100 times.  Putting a full recycle bin in the middle of the kitchen floor is nothing more than an obstacle to walk around.

I left David a message asking to get he cat smell (and crap) out of the basement, the smell is nauseating in the basement.  Keeping crap picked up in the house (not just be David, but by ALL who live here) is like asking them to donate a kidney.  I get asked to call when I can talk freely...  ha!  That means someone wants to bitch and give me their opinion and complaints, which I don't care to hear.

All that is going through my head is negative...  why won't it go away?  There is no love around here, of any kind, but it has only been that way for five plus years, but who's counting and who cares.

Is Anyone Happy and Thankful

I recently made a post on Facebook asking "is anyone happy and thankful".  It didn't get much of a response so far, but that doesn't surprise me either.  To start with, I want to say I am in awe with those that seemingly are overwhelmed with happiness and thankfulness - they are so inspiring to me. People like Kirk Weisler who constantly tells stories of  how happy and thankful he is with his life that is centered around his wife and family.  Phil Gerbyshak with his branded smile, it's always there, on his face and in his tone (even when he waited months to get paid for an engagement).  My friend Dr. Sunshine who always reminds me to work on my "fun factor" because it is so critical for happiness (OK, there's an inside story there, that's not my friends real name, just a pen name, so to speak). A co-worker that is so into her kids and family, happy and thankful for all they have and can do.  Then there are those dear and departed friends I once sat and talked with, that even though they lost battles with illness, told me many stories of happiness and thankfulness and how important it is to understand and enjoy before we are in a situation so dire we lose the ability to enjoy it for all it is worth.  I'm not naive to think all of these and others live in 100% happiness all the time - we are humans! I hope I'm wrong and they are in happiness and bliss all the time, I strive to feel that way too.

Why aren't we all suffering from happiness and thankfulness? Why do we dwell on the unhappiness and complain about things that are not perfect in every way? Why is there not enough forgiveness and so much hostility.  I wish I knew.  Even more, I wish I had the answers that could help turn things around.

Jokes make people laugh and feel good. Those same jokes make people withdraw and get mad. Can we not see both sides of the coin? Can we not see when a joke to one person is an attack on another?  I think sometimes we do, and do it anyway because it is all about us, not them.  Is it for self indulgence?  Why do we tell stories and talk about what others have done or not done? Do we think it makes us look better? 

In my heart, I want to feel like I am remarkable each and every day.  Thank you Seth Godin for providing me that inspiration in the Purple Cow, a story I had pins made for to give to people when I catch them being remarkable.  I love the Big Moo, my favorite book of all, I can find time to read a short story from it to gain inspiration almost anywhere I go.

One thing I get to accomplish, whether I want to or not, by choice or my default, I get to read a lot.  Not necessarily a book from cover to cover, I haven't done that in years.  I often pick up a book and let fate tell me where to start reading and what lesson to take from the reading....  and then hopefully the wisdom to apply a little of it.  I read blogs, fancy names for editorials, opinions and the things that people do for their own reasons.  You're doing the same right now.  I'm writing this for me as much as I'm writing it for you.  I'm hoping we both come out the other end a little bit happier and more thankful.

I'm not happy I have not been able to do things that helped others be happier.  I worked hard on that sentence because I've learned that I can not make anyone happy nor can anyone make me happy.  All we can do is provide someone with an environment that is conducive to happiness, the choice is theirs, or mine. I'm struggling with if I should really try to be happy despite the influences that I come in contact with that are not conducive to my happiness anyway, but because some of that come from dear friends, it bothers me.

I believe that our society and our upbringing has brought us to where we are - duh, you didn't have to be a rocket scientist to figure that one out.  What I want to learn is how to teach the proverbial dog new tricks. How do you teach, or turn a child around to be thankful for all he or she has, what ever that amount might be?  How to you instill into an employee that it is called work for a reason, have fun, enjoy the time, love what you do, but...  work!  How do we create a culture of people that first and foremost, want to help others?  I wished I had taken my kids to the gulf to help clean up after Katrina or to Hatti that was so violently ravaged.

As Rosamund and Benjamin Zander reminded us in The Art of Possibility, remember rule #6.  Be thankful for for all you have, share all you can, and above all, be happy each and every day. Try doing something different, Be Remarkable.

Are these people were wasting time....

Ah, it is that time of year again, when all the political signs start blooming along about every road in every city and town.  Unfortunately, it is unlikely they are going away any time soon.  What a waste.

Take these folks standing along the road, even kids, holding signs, waving to every car that goes by with the hopes they you will vote for the person they are supporting.  I never wave to them, do you?  I especially like the corners where 15 or 20 people holding signs of competing politicians are standing, all waving.  If you waved back, do you think they'd both think, "aha, I got that vote"? 

Political flowers in full bloom

Today, I was thinking, not only is it a waste of time, it is down right stupid.  What a waste of time.  Hmmm.  Why then do they continue to do it, election after election?  Let the light shine down on us.  The reason is simple, they aren't stupid, many of the people they're waving too are stupid (I hope that doesn't include you or me), but I'll just bet, someone out there goes to the poll on election day and sees a name from one of those bill board carrying supporters and says "ah, I know that one, I'll vote for them", what is the Clerk of SJC anyway?

Bottom line, I don't think the wavers are the stupid ones, I think it is the ones that live among us that vote for a name on a sign without even knowing who or what they stand for (almost as dumb as voting all Democrat or Republican just because that's what they are - isn't that political racism?).

Hollywood Squares Humor

Life seems so much easier and light when we smile, unfortunately, life seems to have lead many of us down a path of all work and no play.  Even if that is your path, as mine seems to have become, we all need to take a moment and smile. 

FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER

These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were suppose to be spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course...

Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!

(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures..

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh


We don't stop laughing because be grow old, we grow old because we stop laughing!
I need more laughing!  I don't who put this list together, thanks to my little sister for sharing it with me.

Remember Rule #6

A few years ago, I had the distinct pleasure of meeting Benjamin Zander at a conference for Computer Support Professionals - help desk staff, the people you call when you have a computer problem.  If you don't know who Benjamin Zander is; he's the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra, a teacher, author and speaker.  Read about him at http://benjaminzander.com/.  So what would a philharmonic orchestra conductor, teacher and author have to do with computer support professionals?  Everything!  It is easier to say, what he has to say has to do with everything in life that you and I do.  If you EVER have an opportunity to hear him speak, I encourage you to do so and try to sit in the front row as i did, you may get lucky enough to speak to him face to face as I did.  I digress from the original thought that prompted this post.

This post is about Remembering Rule #6 which comes from the book "The Art of Possibility", co-authored by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander.  The story goes:

Two prime ministers are sitting in a room discussing affairs of state. Suddenly a man bursts in, apoplectic with fury, shouting and stamping and banging his fist on the desk.

The resident prime minister admonishes him: “Peter” he says, “kindly remember Rule Number 6,” whereupon Peter is instantly restored to complete calm, apologies, and withdraws.

The politicians return to their conversation, only to be interrupted yet again twenty minutes later by an hysterical woman gesticulating wildly, her hair flying.

Again the intruder is greeted with the words: “Marie, please remember Rule Number 6.” Complete calm descends once more, and she too withdraws with a bow and an apology.

When the scene is repeated for a third time, the visiting prime minister addresses his colleague: “My dear friend, I’ve seen many things in my life, but never anything as remarkable as this. Would you be willing to share with me the secret of Rule Number 6?”

“Very simple,” Replies the resident prime minister. “Rule Number 6 is ‘Don’t take yourself so goddamn seriously.’ ”

“Ah,” says his visitor, “that is a fine rule.”

After a moment of pondering, he inquires, “And what, may I ask, are the other rules?”

“There aren’t any.”

Life's lessons, at least as I see it

Life's little lessons, one line at a time because life is all about the constant learning process.

• Lesson 101: The only people needed in your life are ones that need YOU in theirs. Don't make someone a priority if they make you an option!
• Lesson 102: Hate the fact that when it matters or other wise things are never the way you would like them. Can we do something?
• Lesson 103: Hurting people hurt people
• Lesson 104: If I do not want what you want, please try not to tell me that my want is wrong...
• Lesson 105: Remember Rule #6 (see http://bit.ly/94z8My)
• Lesson 106: Sometimes the most frustrating things in life is when you are talking and the other person isn't listening.  However, always remember to Listen so you children will talk, and Talk so you're kids will listen.
• Lesson 107: There comes a time in life when you have to walk away from all the pointless drama and the people who create it, surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you cry.  Forget the bad and focus on the good, life is too short to for unhappiness.
  
  be anything, but behappy. more to follow....